España, Campeón!

从来没有这么卖力的看世界杯，虽然西班牙的比赛都在凌晨两点半，除了第一场同瑞士输掉的比赛是晚上十点，却是唯一一场我没看的比赛，我觉得我比西班牙队员还要轻敌，以为是稳赢的呢，结果还就输了，使得我不得不坚持将西班牙的每场比赛都看下来，每场都默默的祈祷，丝毫不敢懈怠，欣慰的是西班牙还真的很争气的赢下了接下来的每场比赛，以至于丁浩同学说保罗和我同为西班牙队的吉祥物。

距离西班牙夺冠也只过了四天，我将之称为“后夺冠时期”，既兴奋又疲惫，还有一种想庆祝却无处发泄这种能量的压抑感。

我只想大声的吼出来：

我爱西班牙，我爱托雷斯,我爱西班牙队的每个球员！

VIVA ESPANA!

Goran Dragic-A rising star in Phoenix Suns

今天看了NBA west finals, 虽然太阳输给了湖人，好久没看NBA的我收获一个帅哥，太阳队升起的新星——来自斯洛文尼亚的戈兰-德拉季奇。非常喜欢他那股认真的劲儿。可惜西部决赛已经结束，看来只能等待新赛季的开始了，看好他。

Alvin Gentry Grooming Goran Dragic to take over for Steve Nash

March 25, 2009 – Dr. Casper

This is the first post on The Hoop Doctors by ‘Dr. Casper’ a.k.a. Ben York from Phoenix’s Fanster.comfame, who also was the founder of Ben’s Suns Blog. Ben will be bringing you analysis of league wide issues for The Hoop Doctors, but fittingly in his first post with us, he will be covering an issue that hits close to home for him:

Suns fans, and to some extent NBA fans, had it made for the past 5 years. They’ve been lucky enough to seeSteve Nash, one of the greatest point guards ever to play the game, on a consistent basis. We’ve seen what Nash can do to defenses and game plans virtually shredding any hope of containment. Unfortunately for all of us, the Steve Nash era will inevitably come to an end at some point, and the new future point guard for the Suns is a rookie from Slovenia named Goran Dragic.

After the 2007-2008 season, Suns GM Steve Kerr understood that in order for the Suns to go anywhere in the post-season, they couldn’t rely on Nash to do everything for an entire season only to have him wear down in the playoffs along with the entire team. This was Kerr’s main objective during the past off-season – get Nash a respectable backup point guard whom the players, coaches, and fans trust. Their immediate target during the draft (at their position) was Goran Dragic. In short, Kerr & co. were able to obtain Dragic’s rights from the Spurs and worked out a deal with Tau Ceramica (Dragic’s team in Europe) to get Goran here. With the work put in to get Dragic on the team for 2008-2009, expectations were immediately raised.

Needless to say, following a two-time MVP is certainly no easy task. Under former head coach Terry Porter, Goran lacked confidence and tenacity which translated into an extremely rough start to his rookie season. Porter was more of a disciplinarian and would pull Dragic out the game quickly after a mistake, turnover, or ill-advised shot. Those mistakes began to become more frequent as Goran would play not to lose, instead of playing to win. Fans were left wondering what the Suns front office saw in Dragic and questioned his future in the NBA.

However, under new Suns coach Alvin Gentry, Goran is finding a rhythm and slowly blossoming as a capable back-up. Gentry has helped Goran relax, have fun, and trust his abilities. Under Porter, Dragic didn’t have a single game where he scored in double digits. There were many games where Goran saw no minutes at all. Now, with the support and encouragement of Alvin Gentry, Goran has managed to put together several games of double digit scoring while limiting his turnovers (the most he’s ever had in a single game since early February was 4). He is also shooting a solid 50% from the floor in February and March while averaging a very low 1.5 turnovers per game. More importantly for the Suns, the staff is comfortable playing him when Nash needs to rest and players are starting to trust him.

There is no doubt that Goran Dragic has an extremely long way to go before being remotely compared to Nash. But in his first season away from Europe when all players typically struggle in their first year, Goran is beginning to find his stride and regain the confidence he once lost under Terry Porter.

You can believe with Nash’s leadership, coupled with Alvin Gentry’s support, guidance, and encouragement, Dragic will continue to improve and get better and better each game.

J’ai tué ma mère——我杀了我妈妈

最近迷恋法语，因为不懂所以迷恋。

看法语片，看非常生活化的法语片。

沉闷的生活变得不再那么不可承受。

J’ai tué ma mère 是在电影杂志上看到的介绍，貌似还不错，就买了DVD回来看。

青少年时期眼中的父母都是那么的ridiculous and unbearable,虽然我们不知我们对他们的爱到底有多深。

也许隐隐中，这就是我为什么总是拒绝长大，拒绝结婚生子，总是抗拒最终成为我曾今所厌恶过的那种人。

但是，历史还是会重演，我如何才能避免不幸？

期待年轻导演Xavier Dolan的自导自演的下一部电影 Les amours imaginaires

 

Busy with my so-called life

4月25日晚20:00~21:00

Maximilian Hecker 中国巡演——苏州站

Maximilian虽然不是我多么喜欢的歌手，不过苏州这小地方，这样的歌手能来表演是绝对不能错过的。场地在东园附近的一个厂房改造的青年旅社，人物都是年轻人，虽然我还鱼目混珠其中，但是明显发现自己老了（事实上一个小时站立下来，体力也不断提醒我老了）。谁叫我们年轻的时候没有这样的资源和资金去体验呢。心中默念哪天Jason Mraz来苏州或者上海，我是一定要杀得去的，上海都那么国际化的城市了，Jason Mraz你一定要来啊！（默念一千遍。。。。）

4月26日早08:00赶赴徐州。。。。

很高兴又一次和小沈一起出差，上一次是去南京，去逛了一下南大。这次回到小沈生活了四年的城市，她毫不犹豫的“扛起了把子”，带着我在徐州转悠蹭饭。每次北上天津都只是路过徐州，从来没有踏入过这个城市，但是它曾今是我的精神支柱，因为它差不多是天津和苏州的中点。不管是去上学还是放假回家，每次坐火车过徐州都意味着路程过半。长途旅行对我来说永远都是torture，所以我不喜欢出差也不喜欢旅游。短短的四天出差，只有美食给我留下了深刻印象，“鼎香园”的片片鱼，有点辣，又很鲜，很入味。回程一路沿着沿海高速开了6个小时，还去连云港绕了个弯，看到了平时很难看到的大片农田。这样的出差，这样的在路上，时间过得又慢又快，说不出的滋味，really don’t know what i was saying and i was doing, the passing week is like a dream, not a bad dream nor a good dream. Maybe just getting away a little while from my daily routine makes me feel fresh. 

5月1日 

终于读完了Ian McEwan的《星期六》，跟着主人公的思维度过了一个奇特的星期六，对于清空大脑是非常有用的。

5月2日

终于看到了“A single man"，终于看完了"lovely bones"，终于看完了“Valentine’s Day”……还有好多下载的片子在等着我。。。还有好多定的工作计划根本没做，罪恶感啊!

5月3日

约了Miranda,小新,Stella逛街，好久没有逛街了，据说气温可达30°C。 老天爷。希望这个夏天我能瘦下来。

瑜伽+柠檬汁， 坚持坚持！

The truth always hurts

转载：记得当年草上飞  by 刘瑜   http://www.my1510.cn/article.php?id=c543690551f9df94

《新周刊》

———–

 

如果让我选一部印象最深刻的纪录片，我会说《49 Up》。如果问我为什么，我会说因为它充分说明了现实比任何虚构作品都要更残酷。

 

确切地说，这不是一部纪录片，而是一系列纪录片。1964年，英国导演Michael Apted开始追拍14个人。这14个人中，有号称自己平时只读《金融时报》的Andrew，有说她根本不想认识任何有色人种的Suzy，有想研究月亮是怎么回事的Nick，有说“女人最大的问题就是她们总是心不在焉”的John……那一年，他们只有7岁。

 

此后，每隔7年，Apted就重访一次这批人，跟踪他们的少年、青年、中年，到2005年第七次跟拍时，他们都已经49岁。下一次追拍节目将在2012年播出，届时他们将56岁。

 

Apted最早决定拍这个纪录片时，初衷是批判英国社会凝固化的阶级：富人的孩子还是富人，穷人的孩子还是穷人。40多年拍下来，这一点的确大致得到确证：象Andrew、John这样的富人孩子基本上一直没有偏离精英“传送带”，从富人区中小学到牛津剑桥，再进入律师媒体之类精英行业；而象 Simon、Jacky这样的底层孩子，从来没有、似乎也没有争取去突破头上的玻璃天花板，一路按部就班经历了辍学、早婚、多子、失业等底层命运。当然也有例外，Nick出生贫苦，但后来成了名校教授，可见命运的手掌里也有漏网之鱼。

 

但这个纪录片看下来，给人最大的冲击完全不是其政治内涵，而是——请允许我使用这个几乎成了陈词滥调的用语——生命的荒诞。片中的每一个人年少时，无论贫富，都意气风发充满幻想，都相信未来是圣诞老人藏在圣诞树下的那个礼物，会在打开的一刹那令人尖叫欢呼。

 

但是，圣诞老人始终没有出现。慢慢地，片中的男人开始挨个秃头，女人开始比赛发胖，关键是，他们的眼睛里再也没有了憧憬和幻想。梦想的浓雾散尽之后，裸露出来的是苍莽时间里有去无回的人。

 

有趣的是，这种微渺感在片中并不因阶层而异。精英阶层固然生活更舒适，但是社会对他们的期望值也更高，所以他们和梦想的相对距离，和底层与梦想的相对距离其实是一样的。Nick到35岁时沦为无家可归的人，在苏格兰荒凉的高原上游荡，镜头前的他明显表现出精神病症状，难以自控地晃动身体，低着头说：关键不是我喜欢干什么，而是我可能干什么。而精英出生的John，大约是这批人里最早慧的。早在14岁时就下定决心要从政，“取消工人罢工权，改用司法裁决”，当另一个孩子问他“那岂不是侵犯了工人的集会自由”时，他咄咄逼人地反驳：“你会把一个抢劫犯关进监狱称为侵犯了他的抢劫权吗？”后来他做了律师，但是始终没能如愿以偿地“进入议会”。40多岁时，他表情温和、脑袋半秃，微笑着说：我现在很喜欢园艺，要是以前你告诉我我会变得热衷花草，我肯定会觉得那是个笑话。

 

无家可归的Nick，和爱上园艺的John，一样让人心酸呢。

 

以前我写过一个网络小说《烟花》，讲的是一个“反高潮”的故事：从故事一开始女主人公就貌似会和某男配角发生一段轰轰烈烈的恋情，但是直到故事结束什么都没有发生。《49 Up》则是一个反高潮的纪录片，并以其反高潮的故事走向暴露着生活的本质。从1964年开始，观众就开始等待那些可爱的孩子会演绎精彩人生，等了40多年，终于等到14个天使慢慢变成了14个nobody。阿甘的妈妈说：人生就象一盒巧克力，你永远也不会知道下一颗尝到的是什么滋味。阿甘的妈妈其实也可以说：人生就像一盒口香糖，嚼着嚼着都一样没有了味道。

 

这样说又似乎不公平。放弃了政治抱负转而热衷园艺的John，在这个过程中变得更柔和；无家可归的Nick在42岁之后竟然成功跻身地方政治，变得更积极。这样的人性成长也可说是收获？事实上到影片最后，这14个人绝大多数都变得比年轻时更可爱，在时光的雕刻下，凿去狂妄，磨出温润。说到底，谁都终将被扔回时间的海底，在那里与其它鱼虾贝壳一同聆听无边寂静，而在这之前，我们能指望的，大约只是心灵成长，祈祷生的优雅可以抚慰它的渺小。

Ode to a nightingale

Ode to a nightingale

by: John Keats

My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains 
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains
One minute past, and Lethe-wards had sunk:
‘Tis not through envy of thy happy lot,
But being too happy in thine happiness,–
That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees
In some melodious plot
Of beechen green, and shadows numberless,
Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

O, for a draught of vintage! that hath been
Cool’d a long age in the deep-delved earth,
Tasting of Flora and the country green,
Dance, and Provençal song, and sunburnt mirth!
O for a beaker full of the warm South,
Full of the true, the blushful Hippocrene,
With beaded bubbles winking at the brim,
And purple-stained mouth;
That I might drink, and leave the world unseen,
And with thee fade away into the forest dim:

Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last gray hairs,
Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
And leaden-eyed despairs,
Where Beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.

Away! away! for I will fly to thee,
Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy,
Though the dull brain perplexes and retards:
Already with thee! tender is the night,
And haply the Queen-Moon is on her throne,
Cluster’d around by all her starry Fays;
But here there is no light,
Save what from heaven is with the breezes blown
Through verdurous glooms and winding mossy ways.

I cannot see what flowers are at my feet,
Nor what soft incense hangs upon the boughs,
But, in embalmed darkness, guess each sweet
Wherewith the seasonable month endows
The grass, the thicket, and the fruit-tree wild;
White hawthorn, and the pastoral eglantine;
Fast fading violets cover’d up in leaves;
And mid-May’s eldest child,
The coming musk-rose, full of dewy wine,
The murmurous haunt of flies on summer eves.

Darkling I listen; and, for many a time
I have been half in love with easeful Death,
Call’d him soft names in many a mused rhyme,
To take into the air my quiet breath;
Now more than ever seems it rich to die,
To cease upon the midnight with no pain,
While thou art pouring forth thy soul abroad
In such an ecstasy!
Still wouldst thou sing, and I have ears in vain–
To thy high requiem become a sod.

Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird!
No hungry generations tread thee down;
The voice I hear this passing night was heard
In ancient days by emperor and clown:
Perhaps the self-same song that found a path
Through the sad heart of Ruth, when, sick for home,
She stood in tears amid the alien corn;
The same that oft-times hath
Charm’d magic casements, opening on the foam
Of perilous seas, in faery lands forlorn.

Forlorn! the very word is like a bell
To toll me back from thee to my sole self!
Adieu! the fancy cannot cheat so well
As she is fam’d to do, deceiving elf.
Adieu! adieu! thy plaintive anthem fades
Past the near meadows, over the still stream,
Up the hill-side; and now ’tis buried deep
In the next valley-glades:
Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music:–Do I wake or sleep?

It’s just a dream

It’s just a dream,

with you in it,

hold me tight,

feel so safe,

feel so warm,

don’t ever let me go.

 

Tess of The D’urbervilles

Tess of The D’urbervilles is not one of my favorite books, it is THE favorite book of mine.

" I shouldn’t mind learning why–why the sun do shine on the just and the unjust alike, " 

"Behold, when thy face is made bare, he that loved thee shall hate;

Thy face shall be no more fair at the fall of thy fate.

For thy life shall fall as a leaf and be shed as the rain;

And the veil of thine head shall be grief, and the crown shall be pain."

"The daylight has nothing to show me, since you are not here, and I don’t like to see the rooks and starlings in the fields, because I grieve and grieve to miss you who used to see them with me. I long for only one thing in heaven or earth or under the earth, to meet you, my own dear! Come to me–come to me, and save me from what threatens me!– Yours faithful heartbroken Tess."

"Here we suffer grief and pain,

Here we meet to part again,

In heaven we part no more."

Book recommendation-Send you a bullet

第二次偶遇刘瑜的书。爱不释手，既想一口气看完，又怕看完了没得再看。结局还是被我很快看完了，非常逗趣，非常受益。

很想引用一些书中的段落，到头来了每句话我都想搬上来，所以我放弃了。只是逢人（女人）便推荐这本书。

也有可能是我一厢情愿，一厢情愿的认为我能感到的共鸣，她人也能感到。

后记——  “我相信是一个人感受的丰富性、而不是发生在他生活中的事件密度，决定他生活的质地；是一个人的眼睛、而不是他眼前的景色，决定他生活的色彩。”

Wrong

The wrong place I was born to 

The wrong books I read

The wrong ideas I have

The wrong people I meet

The wrong job I do

Mr. Wrong I marry 

The wrong life I lead

The very wrong of all these wrongs is that I don’t even try to make them right.